All We Are
by liisous
Summary: Damon & Elena one shots collection.
1. A Thousand Years

**A/N: **Hi guys! Instead of posting all my Delena one shots seperately, I'll post them all in this "story". However, _all stories will be one shots, which means that every story will have a beginning and every story will have an end. _**No exceptions!**

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own the Vampire Diaries or its characters. I do NOT own the original story, the plots, the quotes or any of the lines I might use in my one shots. _All rights are reserved to their right owners._

However, everything you do NOT recognize in the stories is mine and belong to me if nothing else is mentioned.

I have chosen to put the stories in the M section because some of the one shots will contain rated M material and references. Be aware of this!

**Warnings: **Some stories will contain dark themes, abuse, self-harm, alcohol, drugs, swearing, death, etc..

* * *

_Heart beats fast  
Colors and promises  
How to be brave  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall  
But watching you stand alone  
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

"I could take care of you, you know." His fingers grace my cheek, leaving a tingling feeling behind it.

I stare at him through my eyelashes, "Damon.."

I know he's right. I know if I just let him, he would take care of me, he would protect me, he would keep me safe.

But I'm with Stefan. _It's always going to be Stefan, _Damon's words from before echo in my head.

I shiver, realising it's true. It's always been Stefan. His father, his mother, Katherine.. they all chose Stefan over him.

_One step closer_

"I have to do this, Damon. After everything Stefan and I have been through, I owe him a second chance." The uncertainty in my voice surprise me.

_What exactly do you owe him? _I ask myself.

I can see the pain and confusion on Damon's face. The unspoken question hang thick, _why does he get seconds chances when I can't get a first chance? __  
_

_"_I understand." He says, his walls flies up to shield him. His lips form into a smirk as he pour himself a drink.

"Don't do that." I sigh, desperately. "You can't keep shutting everything off everytime you're put out there."

"Don't you understand, Elena?" Damon says, his voice is ten times higher and laced with anger.

_I have died everyday waiting for you_  
_Darlin' don't be afraid_  
_I have loved you for a thousand years_  
_I'll love you for a thousand more_

He sighs, "Never mind. You're with Stefan, I get it. It's always going to be Stefan." He swallow the Bourbon in one motion. At least the pain become more and more numb by every glass he drinks.

They stand silent for a while, Damon's watching the flames sparkle in the fireplace while Elena's staring into his back.

"Maybe if you and I met first." Elena whispers. Maybe then everything would be different.

"We fucking did meet first!" Damon screams, throwing the glass into the fire. The glass shatters everywhere, small pieces of broken glass matches his heart. How ironic.

_One step closer_

"What are you talking about?"

"That night," he stops talking. He had promised himself to never tell her about it, that's why he erased her memory after all. Elena's silent too, waiting for an explanation.

_And all along I believed_  
_I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_

"You erased my memory." She says as realisation hits her. "Why?"

When only silence follows her question, she says, "Show me."

"Show me!" she demands, walking up in front of Damon. Removing her vervain jewellery, she waits for him to re-play her long lost memory.

Defeated, Damon sighs before staring into her eyes.

_"Got into a fight with my boyfriend," Elena says. _

_"About what? May I ask."_

_"Life," Elena sighs, "Future. He's got it all mapped out."_

_"You don't want it?"_

_"I don't know what I want," Elena shrugs._

_"Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants."_

_"What? Mysterious stranger who has all the answers." Elena smiles._

_"Let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things."  
_

_"So Damon, tell me, what is it that I want?"_

_"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion. And adventure. And even a little danger."_

_"So what do you want?" Elena asks._

_"I want you to get everything you're looking for," his voice is gentle, kind, loving. "But right now I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Good night, Elena."_

She continue staring into his eyes as they come back to the Boarding House.

Tears prickle in her eyes. She can't bring herself to be mad at him for erasing her memory. But what is she suppose to feel?

"I don't.. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Elena." A small smile ghost his lips. "I understand."

Elena can hear the pain in his voice, see the pain in his eyes, almost feel the pain in his touch when he gently kiss her on the forehead before turning around and walk away, leaving Elena for herself in the Boarding House living room. Tears are streaming freely down her cheeks as she sit down on the couch, thinking that things could be different, if only she would have known.

_I have died everyday waiting for you  
__Darlin' don't be afraid  
__I have loved you for a thousand years  
__I'll love you for a thousand more_

* * *

**Thoughts? **_Be kind & review :)_

Song: Christina Perri - A Thousand Years


	2. I'll Be Your Soldier

_Where did all the people go?_  
_They got scared when the lights went low_  
_I'll get you through it nice and slow_  
_When the world's spinning out of control_

Walking through town, Elena noticed everyone shrugging away from her. People crossed the street to walk on the other side, others ducked into the closest store to avoid her. She sighed, knowing very well they were still staring at her.

Ever since the town became known to be surrounded by vampires, the population of Mystic Falls was forced to choose sides. There were only two - the vampire side and the human side. They had agreed to live under peace, but not together as one. Never together. The mayor in town had decided to split the town in half, the vampire side would get their own bars and clubs, their own mall and their own public parks. Just like the humans got theirs.

Now, when Elena chose to stay on the vampires side, choosing to stay with her best friends and with Damon, she never thought the rest of the town would shut her out because of it. Even the closest friends of her family had turned on her. In their eyes, she was just as doomed as the vampires themselves.

_Afraid of what they might lose_  
_Might get scraped or they might get bruised_  
_You could beg them, what's the use?_  
_That's why it's called a moment of truth_

When the mayor first declared the town splitting up official, Elena was devastated. The reactions she saw amongst the people were awful. Elena had thought they would be as heartbroken as she was about this choice - bad things seldom happened in this town, and the majority of the population had some kind of relation to both Damon and Stefan - but surprisingly many of them cheered and a round of applauds evolved. She was surprised how reckless and absolutely awful some of her familys closest friends behaved.

"Bloodsucking vampire slut!" Someone yelled, snapping Elena out of her thoughts.

Sighing, she called Damon, before walking towards _her _side of town.

_I'll get it if you need it_  
_I'll search if you don't see it_  
_You're thirsty, I'll be rain_  
_You get hurt, I'll take your pain_

"I don't understand these people anymore." Elena shook her head, feeling sad over the fact that everyone had turned on her.

"Did you ever?" Damon asked, handing her a glass of wine.

"Damon, it's not funny. I'm serious."

"How can you not care about this?" Elena whispers after a few minutes of silence. Tears start to run down her cheeks unwillingly. "This town is turning into something more horrendous because of people knowing than before. They are out of control, Damon. If this continues, this town will go down."

"Hey, hey," Damon hold her chin between his fingers, "People are just afraid because they don't know how to react. Vampires doesn't exist outside of fairytales for them. They just need some time to come around. Mayor Lockwood shouldn't be the first to judge, considering her own family history." Damon take a sip of Bourbon before talking again, "Stop worrying, Elena. Give them some time. Okay? Everything will be okay."

_I know you don't believe it_  
_But I said it and I still mean it_  
_When you heard what I told you_  
_When you get worried, I'll be your soldier_

Elena sighed again and wiped the tears from her eyes. Maybe Damon was right, maybe all they needed was time. Yes, she decided, they need time. After all, she remember her reaction when she first learned about vampires. She wasn't exactly welcoming the new information with a smiling face.

But what if they won't come around like she did? What if everything will only get worse and worse until things go out of control?

Elena shivers at the thought. Mystic Falls is their home. No matter what Damon might say about the beautiful places of the world, or the possibility of creating a new home somewhere else, Mysic Falls will always be home. At least for Elena.

And to see this town turn into something this sad and evil is breaking her heart.

_My aim is so true_  
_I wanna show you_  
_I'll try forever_  
_I'm never gonna say "surrender"_

"What if they don't? Damon, what if no matter how much time we give, they will never come around?" She starts sobbing again, her mood is playing with her like a rollercoaster. "I have tried everything. I have tried to get them to understand."

"If not, we still have two choices left. Either, we leave this town and never look back. Or we fight." Damon shrugs. He knows he and Stefan could take down this whole town, just the two of them, if necessary. After everything, he just wished they wouldn't have to. Truth was, he was just as surprised as Elena by some peoples behaviour. People he considered friends, turned on him.

However, he still had Elena. And that was enough for him. But he knew that it wouldn't be enough for her. This lifestyle isn't enough for her.

And if it would ever come down to it, he would fight these people. This town. For her.

_I'll be your soldier_

* * *

**Thoughts?** _Be kind & review :)_

Song: Gavin DeGraw - Soldier


	3. Moments

_Shut the door  
__Turn the lights off_

"Marry me." He whispers against her lips. The sun is setting by the horizon, the final light of today is shining on them.

His eyes are sparkling with unshed tears, his uneven breaths invades her mouth.

She nods, a single tear roll down her cheek.

He picks her up then, spins her around, kisses her gently before putting the ring on her finger.

"Mrs Salvatore." He whispers, and she smiles.

"I love you."

_I wanna be with you  
__I wanna feel your love  
__I wanna lay beside you  
__I can not hide this even though I try_

"Your test results came today, Elena." Dr Fell says as they sit in her office. Her hands holds the envelope. A brown envelope.

Brown envelopes are never good. Elena knew this from experience.

Damon is beside her, looking directly at Dr Fell, waiting for her to open it.

Elena closes her eyes. She's not ready for this. She doesn't want to know.

As Meredith push the knife through the paper, it feels like they have been there for hours.

It's been only minutes.

Damon squeeze her hand as Meredith speaks, "There's no change, Elena. I'm sorry."

"What does that mean?" Damon suddenly ask.

"It means that Elena still has cancer, Mr Salvatore."

_Heart beats harder  
__Time escapes me  
__Trembling hands touch skin_  
_It makes this harder_  
_And the tears stream down my_face

"We'll come up with something." Damon says, "We're not giving up."

"Damon, it's over. It's too late."

"It's not too late!" He screams.

"I'm not responding, Damon, there's nothing we can do." She tries to speak softly to him, to make him understand.

He don't.

Glasses, lamps and chairs flies through the room. Minutes pass and he continue throwing things until he collapse.

Elena sit down beside him and holds him against her chest.

She can feel tears soaking her shirt. "There has to be something I can do." He sobs, "You can't leave me. Please, don't leave me."

She holds him until he's fallen asleep.

_If we could only have this life for one more day  
__If we could only turn back time  
__You know I'll be  
__You life, your voice, your reason to be  
__My love, my heart  
__Is breathing for this  
__Moment in_ _time_

It was the day of their wedding. Damon and Elena had finally become Mr and Mrs Salvatore.

Elena giggled when Damon picked her up and carried her across the threshold.

"Welcome home, Mrs Salvatore." He kisses her lips.

"Thank you, Mr Salvatore."

Elena gasp when she sees the decoration in the hallway. Roses and rosepedals lie in two different lines, making an isle for them to walk through.

Damon carries her through it, and up the stairs. The hallway upstairs is decorated like downstairs, and she smirks seeing the door to their bedroom standing slightly ajar.

She's dying to see what the bedroom looks like.

Damon stops just outside, asking her to close her eyes. As she does, he leans in to kiss both her eyelids before carrying her inside and letting her down. His hands holds her waist still, his eyes on her face.

Opening her eyes, she gasps. There are candles everywhere in the room, on the dresser, bed side tables, window panes, even the floor is covered. On the bed, there's flowers shaped as a heart, with an E and a D written with rose pedals. Underneath it, Salvatore is spelled out with chocolate.

"Oh Damon, it's beautiful." She kisses him once, twice, three times before turning towards the bed again. She doesn't want to touch any of it as she approach the bed. It's too beautiful to be destroyed.

"Let's get you out of that dress, shall we?" Damon asks, approaching her from behind with a smirk on his face.

_Hands are silent  
__Voice is numb  
__Try to scream out my lungs  
It makes this harder_  
_And the tears stream down my face_

Damon's standing in front of her grave, looking down at the flowers and candles placed out for her.

Lonely tears stain his cheeks, his eyes blurry.

Three weeks was all they got together as a married couple, as Mr and Mrs Salvatore.

Damon was angry, confused and sad for their short life together. It wasn't fair.

Elena didn't deserve this. She was suppose to live a long, healthy life. With him.

Together, they would travel the world. They would have children, beautiful children. He would teach them everything he knew. They would grow old together. They would sit on the porch and watch their grandchildren play on the yard.

They were suppose to die together.

He close his eyes as the wind swirl around him.

He would find a way for them to be together again.

"We'll be together soon again, my love." He whispers, putting the bouquet of flowers next to the others, before walking back to the car.

In a matter of moments, they would be together again.

And this time, it would be forever.

_I'll find the words to say_  
_Before you leave me today_


	4. Count the I love you's

_I'm scared today  
__More than I told you I was yesterday  
__Give me a moment to catch my breath  
__And hold me every second left_

"I'll call you everyday. Ok?" Elena said, "And we'll E-mail." She kissed the back of his hand, "And you'll come visit as often as you can." Her sparkling eyes stared into his. "And when we can't talk on the phone, or e-mail, we'll text."

"Everything will be fine." Elena said, trying to assure Damon that they would be fine, but mostly trying to assure herself of that.

She was going away to College, on the other side of the country. And Damon wouldn't come with her. He still had business to tend to in Mystic Falls.

"Four years apart, then forever together." Elena smiled, a lonely tear escaped her eye. For the past six months her and Damon had been a couple, she never thought she would be this in love. He was her star, her soul mate, the love of her life. Leaving him would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do.

But school was important. Elena wanted an education, she wanted to become a writer someday. She had to do this.

"I love you." Damon said, "Four years is nothing." He holds her face between his hands, "Four years apart, then forever together." He whispered back to her, kissing her once, twice.

"You have to go," he laughed, "Or you'll miss your flight."

Elena nodded, more tears escapes her eyes. "I love you." She kissed him again, before turning around and walked away.

Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself over and over. They would do this. Like Damon said, four years is nothing. Nothing will change in four years.

Or maybe everything will.

_Don't count the miles, count the I love you's_

"I really miss you." Elena laid on her bed, talking to Damon on the phone. Three months had already passed and the distance between them drove her crazy. How was she suppose to get through another 3½ years?

"I miss you too. But you'll be coming home for Christmas. I already have the perfect present for you." Elena could practically see the smirk on his face.

"But that's not until another two weeks, Damon." She whined. To be honest, she was frustrated. She was longing to touch him, to look into his blue eyes, touch his hair, feel his mucles, kiss his lips. She missed it all.

"I don't know if I can do another 3½ years of this."

"Elena," Damon said, "Four years apart, then forever together. Remember? Four years is nothing."

Elena sighed, "I have to go, my assignment isn't going to finish itself."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you, Elena."

_One day we'll realise  
How hard it was, how hard we tried  
And how our hearts made it out alive_

It was early spring and Elena had only 2 months left of her first year in collage.

It was Saturday night, and she was getting ready to go out with a couple of friends from school when her phone went off.

She sighed and pressed the ignore button as Damon's name flashed the screen.

The distance between them had only gotten bigger and bigger since she went home for Christmas. All they did was fight, over nothing. Damon would get sick and tired of Elena always calling him everyday, of her saying she misses him, loves him, all of that was bullshit in his ears. _These upcoming years won't be any easier just because we talk everyday, _he'd said.

Elena had shortened her visit home because of it and went back to her collage camp three days earlier.

"Are you ready?" Amanda, Elena's friend, asked.

"In a minute. I'll meet you downstairs." Elena smiled.

Tonight was going to be a good night; tonight they would celebrate.

Putting on the last of her makeup, Elena grabbed her phone and purse and went downstairs.

_These are words I wish you said  
But that's not how it went_  
_Cause you gave up on us in the end_

Dear Elena,

It seems this is the only way I can contact you anymore.

I want to apologize. For everything.

The way we left things last Christmas has been killing me.

I guess I got scared when you went to collage, scared that you would find someone else, make a new life for yourself and I would be stuck here, by myself.

You were slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do.

I realise now that I had to let you go. You needed this.

I'm leaving Mystic Falls. My aunt in Italy has offered me a job as a cook.

I start Monday.

Maybe this will work, maybe not.

I guess true love always find its way back, right?

I love you, Elena. I always have.

Damon

_And I won't make it alone_  
_I need something to hold_

"I give you the Graduation class of 2016!"

The whole room started cheering. I spotted Jenna and Jeremy in the crowd, cheering for me. Jenna's eyes were red and puffy.

Walking over to them, my eyes automatically scanned the room, trying to find him.

_He's not here, _I told myself. _Why would he? He broke up with you three years ago, Elena. He's still in Italy._

Suddenly, four strong arms embraced me from both sides. "Congratulations sis!" Jeremy whispered in my ear.

As the night continuted, the three of us stayed at the Graduation ceremony so I could say goodbye to all my friends before going home to Mystic Falls tomorrow.

My eyes kept scanning the room, hoping to connect with a pair of blue.

"He's not coming." Jeremy broke in, "He called earlier. Told me to tell you congratulations."

_Tell me it's not over  
__Don't give up on what we're trying to do_

"How's Italy?" Elena asked. She was back in Mystic Falls again, though it seemed different from when she left. It was colder, emptier. _That's because he isn't here. _The thought crossed my mind before I had time to proccess it.

"It's good. Really good." Damon answered. She had called him the day she got back, and they had talked everyday since. "How's Mystic Falls?" Elena could practically see the smirk on his face.

"It's.. different."

Damon chuckled.

It was quiet for a while before Damon spoke again, "I know I was an asshole back then. I'm sorry for that."

I stayed quiet. What was I suppose to say?

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." He sounds irritated.

"_Damon! Get off the phone, we need you in here._" A female yelled from the background.

"Sorry, I have to go. I'll call you later, Elena."

"Oh-ok."

"And Elena.."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," I say, but the line is already dead.

I throw myself on the bed, swinging the arm over my face. Oh _God. _Elena had no idea what this meant for them, but it had to be something good, right?

_Don't count the miles, count the I love you's_

* * *

**Thoughts? **_Be kind & review :)_

Song: Christina Perri - Miles


	5. The Lonely

_2am, where do I begin_  
_Crying off my face again_  
_The silent sound of loneliness_  
_Wants to follow me to bed_

Elena didn't want to be a vampire. Through the years, she had seen what it could do to people. What they had become. Only thinking about it made her shiver. Now she was one, a creature of the night. The one thing in the world she never wanted to be.

She had been a wreck during most of her transition, trying to decide whether or not she would complete it.

Was she really ready to see everyone she love die in front of her, knowing she would live until the Earth stopped existing?

Was she really ready to face the heavy thirst for blood, with the uncertainty of whether or not she would be able to control it?

Was she really ready?

It didn't really matter. No matter if she was ready or not, this was her future.

"You're the strongest person I know, Elena." Damon's words echoed in her head. Her chest hurt just thinking about it.

He was suppose to be here.

_But he isn't, _her subconscious yelled at her. _Your stupidity made sure of that._

Closing her eyes, all she saw was pictures of flames.

_I'm the ghost of a girl_  
_That I want to be most_  
_I'm the shell of a girl_  
_That I used to know well_

She wandered around the town she used to know so well. It seemed unfamiliar, and the lovely feeling of home that she used to feel wasn't there anymore. Everywhere she turned, images of her human life flashed before her eyes.

She stopped outside the ground place where The Grill used to be. It's all gone now. Police cordons surrounded the place, keeping the piles of ashes and woods inside and unauthorized people out.

Elena had been there more times than she could count, or remember, since the fire.

That fire had robbed her of her life, amongst other things.

A lonely tear make its way down her cheeks as she walks away.

_He's not coming back because you come back here everyday, _her inner self tells her.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room_  
_Can the lonely take the place of you_  
_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_  
_Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again_

She's lying in his bed, wearing one of his t-shirts, drinking a bottle of Bourbon from his stash, watching their home made videos from last summer.

She embrace the pain that is consuming her, making every part of her aching. Her heart is breaking into a million pieces seeing him.

_Masochist! _yells her subconscious at her.

Taking another gulp of Bourbon, she yells back, _If this is the only way I can see him, this is what I'll do!_

She doesn't notice the first rays of sunlight stretching over the horizon, or the morning songs sung by the birds outside the window.

She doesn't notice anything but the man she loves, who she now has to watch on screen, instead of in real life.

_Too afraid, to go inside_  
_For the pain of one more loveless night_  
_For the loneliness will stay with me_  
_And hold me till I fall asleep_

She breaks down seeing his grave. The beautiful crystal decorations lay shattered across the field, the flowers are ripped from the ground and there's a huge crack in the stone, splitting his name apart.

She sobs quietly, falling to her knees.

She's frustrated, how could anyone do something like this?

Elena sit there for hours, cleaning up the grave, planting the flowers again. Angerly, she wipes the tears from her eyes every now and then.

"Elena?" She snap her head around, looking at the person the voice belong to. Stefan stands there, his eyes blank, looking almost confused.

"What's happened?" he ask.

What the hell does it look like? Elena screams at him in her head. Isn't is obvious?

She ignores him and continue planting the flowers.

"This is awful." Stefan sits down beside her, looking directly at her.

"Some people.." He mutters.

Elena sighs, deeply. She can't be here anymore. She stands up, too quickly and walks away.

"Elena!" Stefan calls after her.

She doesn't stop. She walks back, home, to the only place she knew.

_I'm the ghost of a girl_  
_That I want to be most_  
_I'm the shell of a girl_  
_That I used to know well_

It's been a few months since his death. Elena stands in the door opening. It's just before dawn, the first rays of sunlight haven't come to life yet.

She fingers on her ring as tears fall down quietly on her cheeks.

"I know I made a promise," she whispers, "and I tried keeping it."

"I never wanted to become what I am." She sobs, "I only did it for you. So we could be together forever."

She close her eyes, "It's all my fault." She inhales deeply. "I'm sorry."

She can see the sun clibming over the trees, and she's ready.

In one motion, she takes off her ring and hold it tightly in her hand, pressing it against her chest.

"Meet me on the other side." She smiles, knowing it will soon be over.

"I love you, Damon." She says, loudly. The sun is rising quickly and the burning sensation over her skin is hurting. But only for a minute. A minute is all it takes before she too, is taken by fire.

_Broken pieces of_  
_A barely breathing story_  
_Where there once was love_  
_Now there's only me_  
_And the lonely.._

* * *

**Thoughts? **_Be kind & review :)_

Song: Christina Perri - The Lonely


	6. When I Was Your Man

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now  
__Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same_

The music pours through the speakers, silencing every other sound around him. He raise it to max, grabs the bottle of Bourbon between his thumb and long finger and walks upstairs.

He lays down on his bed, but regret it instantly. It smells like her, but he's too tired to move.

He tries to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest as their song comes on. He listens, as Steven Tyler starts singing 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing". He remembers looking at her sleeping; how beautiful and at peace she was then. How incredibly beautiful she looked with her mouth slightly parted, her whole face relaxed.

If only time could be rewinded. If he could only change it.

_When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down  
__Cause my heart breaks a little, when I hear your name_

"She's going to the dance. There's your chance." Ric said, looking at Damon through the corner of his eye.

"With Stefan?" He spit through gritted teeth. Truthfully, he never understood what she saw in him. All the fire she used to see in her faded whenever they were in the same room.

"Why does it matter, Damon?" Ric sighs.

"Maybe she's better off with him." Damon offered. It sounded bitter on his tongue. Stefan wasn't the better choice for Elena, but compared to him..

"Why would you-"

"Because I'm not good for her! I'm not the good guy. I, for once , didn't do anything this time but she left me. For something I didn't even do. She won't listen." He sighs, "She's made up her mind." Damon drinks what's left in his glass before exiting the Grill, ignoring Ric's voice calling for him.

_Too young, too dumb to realise t__hat I should have bought you flowers, __and held your hand  
Should have gave you all my hours, when I had the chance_

On the night of the dance, Damon stands in his room; black jeans and black button up shirt will due for this dance. He smirks. Sexy as always.

Since he walked out on Ric at the Grill, he started thinking. Maybe if he got Elena to listen to him, she would understand that he had nothing to do with what happened. It was stupid, really. A misunderstanding on her side.

He wasn't ready to give up what they had because of it.

_Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance  
__Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man_

Arriving at the dance, it looked like any other Mystic Falls dance. Adult chaperones, dressed up teenagers; girls with dresses, some too short, some too long. Boys with tuxedos. Walking gracefully through the room, he grabbed a glass and poured Bourbon in it from his personal stash of course; these high school dances wasn't allowed to serve alcohol.

Scanning the room, he spotted Elena. She stood by the doorway, by herself. He frowned, _why is she standing alone?_

He decides to walk over, better get this over with. But just as he does, Stefan appears from behind, wrapping his arms around Elena's waist. She smiles, that warm, small smile she used to smile. At him. The pain's tugging at his chest.

He already hates the picture of them together.

Vaguely, he can hear Stefan ask her if she wants to dance and suddenly they are on the dance floor, even further away from him.

_My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways cause the good strong woman like you to walk out of my life  
__Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made and it hurts me every time I close my eyes_

As the night continued, Damon stood leaning against the wall, watching Elena and Stefan as they danced together. She smiled, laughed and gently stroked his arm every now and then, making Damon wonder exactly what was so funny. He listened to everything they were talking about; Stefan's lame jokes wasn't even that funny.

He'd managed to compel one of the girls at the dance to bring him a bottle of Bourbon, and as he was tugging it down, he wondered, _what if Elena is better off with Stefan? _What if Stefan can make her happy? What if Stefan can be everything he isn't? What if Stefan won't hurt her?

_You didn't hurt her. _

The thought had crossed his mind a hundred times during the night. He hadn't hurt her, really, he hadn't done anything. It was all a misunderstanding.

A misunderstanding he had to make understood.

He takes another huge swing of Bourbon before walking over to where they are dancing.

_Althought it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong  
__I know I'm probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes_

"Do you mind?" Damon ask, holding out his hand. Elena look at him, then at Stefan, then at Damon again. She sighs, before taking his hand.

"I'll be right back." She tell Stefan before turning toward Damon.

"What do you want?" She asks.

Slowly, they start spinning around the room in a slow dance. His fingers touch her naked skin on her waist as he guides them across the room.

"To explain."

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Damon."

"They aren't exuses, Elena. If you would just listen-"

"I saw you, Damon. You + her + a bed isn't so hard to put together." She says, her voice breaks a little as tears spring to her eyes.

"It wasn't like that."

Elena glare at him and put their dance to halt.

"Just listen to me, please." He begs, "I was sleeping when she came in. She jumped on me before I had the chance to react. You walked in at the wrong time."

"Wrong time.." Elena spat, "It was only wrong because you got caught."

"I tried to push her away once I realised it wasn't you."

Elena folded her arms over her chest, still glaring at him.

"Are you done?"

"No. I'm not done, Elena. I know you don't want to believe me because you're scared. But I would never do anything to hurt you, not on purpose. I'm sorry that you saw what you saw, but it wasn't what it looked liked. I would never, ever, under any circumstances jump into bed with Katherine again. Never! Maybe one day, you will realise that I'm not the bad guy here. Not this time."

After each word, Elena relax a little, her expressions softens.

"It really hurt me when you ran off to Stefan." Damon says, looking down. Where did the insecurity come from?

"Damon.."

"But I understand." he continues,

_But I just want you to know_

"I've watched you tonight. You look really happy." He smiles, "It's been a while since I saw you this relaxed. And happy."

He tense a little as Stefan comes up behind Elena again.

"Are you okay?"

Elena looks at him, confused, "I'm fine."

"I'm really sorry, Elena. For everything. I wish things could be different, that we could have figured this out."

His eyes are sad when they connect with hers.

"I should probably go." He says then, "Have a good evening."

He leans in to kiss her cheek, "You look good together."

He turns around quickly and walks to the door.

_I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he hold your hands  
__Give you all his hours when he has the chance  
__Take you to every party cause I remember how much you love to dance_

_Oh all the things I should have done_  
_When I was your man_

Reaching the exit, Damon stops for a second and looks back. Elena is leaning her head on Stefan's shoulder as they dance again, and when their eyes connects in secret, she smiles. The same small smile she used; for him. He nods a little to himself, smiles back, and walks out.

_Oh all the things I should have done  
When I was your man_

* * *

**Thoughts? **_Be kind & review! :)_

**Do you want to choose the song for the next story? Review it!**

Song: Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man


	7. Cancer

Elena closed her eyes, giggling, as Damon's lips gently brushed over her face, leaving kisses on her eye lids, cheeks, temples, the side of her mouth and her nose before pecking her twice on the lips. He drew back a little, bringing her head down lower and kissed her high on her head, missing the way her hair used to tickle his nostrils and how her hair used to smell of strawberry schampoo.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered in her ear, "My angel."

Elena peered at him, bringing her hand up to touch his cheek. Damon's head automatically leaned in to her touch as he closed his eyes.

Elena reached her other hand behind her, reaching for an envelope in her back pocket. Both of their eyes landed on it as she handed it to Damon, his confused eyes met her wet, shiny eyes.

"I want you to open it when all of this is over." She said, locking her eyes on his. Hesitantly, he took the envelope our of her hand, holding it in his hands as if it were made of glass. He knew this was her way of saying goodbye; she had always been better to express herself in writing than in actual words. That was one of the things he loved about her, how she could sit for hours and write in her journal and when he would ask what she wrote about, she would flush and mumble "nothing" before closing it and putting it back in her hiding place.

Damon nodded, letting it drop in his breast pocket, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Let's get you to bed." Damon picked her up bridal style and carried her over to the bed. Small droplets of sweat were making themselves known on her forehead, her eyes lost the sparkling fire they used to hold.

"I love you," Elena whispered as Damon drew the covers over he body. A smill smile played on her lips as he settled down beside her and craddled her in his arms, kissing her forehead once again.

**I'm awful just to see  
****Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body**

_"Damon!" Elena yelled in panic, "Damon! Damon!"_

_She was frantically pulling her fingers through her long hair, staring in disbelief as the hair left its roots and covered her hands. Long, dark brown strands of hair tangled up in her fingers. Tears flowed down her cheeks which she desperately whiped away with her sleeve._

_Damon stopped in the doorway, breathing heavily as he stared at her. His eyes flicked from her hands and the brown hair in them to her eyes, before slowly locking on her head, seeing the empty spots._

_A sob escaped her lips and she brought her hand up to stop the sound from escaping. She looked so lost, so broken and utterly frightened. Damon moved towards her, took the hair from her hands and threw it in the wastebin. Strong arms held her then, her body plled flush against his, chest to chest. She gripped the fabric of his t-shirt, tugging desperately._

_"It's okay baby, it's okay." He kissed her temple a few times, his hand travelling up and down her back._

_She knew this would happen, she just didn't know it would affect her so deeply. The doctors had told her about losing her hair when she started her chemotherapy. She sniffled, wondering why losing her hair and becoming an ugly freak had to be one of the side effects of the medicine._

_She whimpered as she accidentally caught hold of another strand of hair left her head and settled in her hand._

_Damon effortlessly picked her up, his hands on her thighs, silently asking her to wrap her legs around his waste. Slowly, he walked towards the king size bed and sat down with Elena still in his lap._

_"I'm ugly." She whined, leaning her forehead against his chest._

_Damon pushed her away slightly, gripping her face in his hands, "Don't you ever say that. You're beautiful, Elena, do you hear me? You will always be beautiful."_

_"No.." Elena started to protest, but got cut off as Damon captured her lips with his._

_"Yes, now hush.."_

Elena woke as a wave of nausea hit her. Bringing her hand up to her mouth and the other to pull back the covers, she sprinted for the bathroom and fell down hard against the toilet seat. She breathed heavily, her back hurled up and down as the liquid was being pulled up from her stomach, through her throat and down in the toilet. She squeezed her eyes shut as her back once again was bucking her upwards. She hated this. This was the worst thing and worst side effect she had yet experienced. She just wanted it done and over with.

She could feel Damon's hand stroking her back soothingly and was glad he was there with her, even though she really didn't want to him to see her like this.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Water." Elena managed to get out before another wave of vomit cut her off and she was forced to lean over the toilet seat again. The tears she had tried to hold back came rushing down her cheeks. She hated this; she hated the vomiting, the dizziness, the constant pain, the worrying, the fear of not knowing.

Damon came back handing her the glass of water which she quickly gulped down. She looked up at him as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

**Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo  
****But counting the days to go**

"How are you feeling?" he asked, pulling her up.

"Fine." Elena answered quietly. Damon had learned that whenever she said she was fine, she really wasn't. Truth was she couldn't come up with another word for how she was feeling and right now, she looked anything but fine. He nodded, guiding her back to the bed.

"Damon," she whispered, "promise me you won't remember me like this after it's all over." Elena looked up at him through watery eyes, her bottom lip trembling.

"Promise me." She pushed when he didn't answer.

"I promise." Damon said, letting his thumb travel over her lips.

_She stood in front of the mirror, staring at herself. Her face looked so alien now when she didn't have any hair to cover it anymore. Her features looked out of place; her ears stood out, her eyes looked hollow and her forehead looked like a never ending highway.  
_

_A sob escaped her as tears formed in her eyes. She looked like a freak._

_Desperately she searched the bathroom for her bandanna. Tugging it on her head, she sighed as she felt less exposed._

_Turning around, ready to leave the room, she saw Damon stood in the doorway, staring at her. His jaw was tense, his eyes sad. His crossed arms dropped to his sides as he brushed past her. He opened the top drawer under the sink, pulling out his electric razor._

_Elena blinked at him, confused. He kept his eyes on her as he switched it on, raising it to his head and in one swift motion, let the razor cut through his hair. His dark locks fell to his shoulders before landing on the floor. Elena gasped, tears appeared in her eyes._

_Damon smiled softly, bringing the razor over his head once more._

_When he finished, he switched it off and put it back in the drawer again, his eyes still on hers. Elena's eyes shifted to his newly shaved head. Not one single strand of hair left. He looked like.. her._

_"I want to be here for you," Damon said, walking towards her, "I want to help you in any way I can. You think you're a freak? Then we're freaks together. You think you're ugly? Then we're ugly together." Elena laughed a little, leaning her head on his chest._

_"I love you." He said, letting his lips drop to her head. "I will always love you."_

"You should probably prepare yourself and say your goodbyes." Dr Fell told them as they were sitting in her office. The new test results had shown no improvement, rather the opposite. Dr Fell had narrowed Elena's days down to less than a week.

"You never know with this kind of disease. It's really all on you, Elena. It's your choice."

"But I thought we were continuing chemo?" Damon asked.

"There's no point, Mr Salvatore. Elena's not responding anymore. Her cancer has spread too much. It would only raise your hopes."

**The hardest part of this  
Is leaving you**

Four days after their visit to Dr Fell, Damon arrived home in a oddly happy mood. Sometime during the day, he had decided to cook Elena her favorite dinner. He had even bought her favorite flowers, hoping this gesture would cheer her up.

"Elena," he called out as he kicked the front door closed with his foot. Walking to the kitchen to leave the bags of groceries, he then started walking up the stairs, whistling as doing so.

"Hey sleephead, it's time to-" He stopped in the doorway, the flowers in his hand dropped to the floor. "Elena?" He whispered. "Elena!" He bolted forward, dropping to his knees by her body on the floor. Forcefully he shook her body, repeating her name over and over.

"No no no, Elena!" Tears invaded his sight, making it blurry as he put his fingers to her neck, feeling for her pulse. Feeling none, he put his ear to her mouth, hoping her breath would tickle his side, it didn't.

"Elena!" He yelled, pulling her body against his as he pulled out his phone to call 911.

He rocked them both back and forth as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

"No no no," Damon ranted over and over again, still holding her in his arms. Seeing her lifeless body in his arms brought a numbness and pain to his chest that he had never earlier experienced. As the paramedics arrived, and gently took her away from him, he was too far gone to fight. He closed his eyes and welcomed the darkness as he fell deeper and deeper into the blackness surrounding him, faintly hearing one of the paramedics calling out for him.

**The hardest part of this  
Is leaving you**

_Dear Damon,  
_

_When you're reading this, it means I'm no longer here. _

_I wrote you this letter to tell you some things. _

_Firstly, remember that I love you. I always have and I always will. _

_I wish life didn't have to be so cruel; but I have to believe there was a meaning by this._

_Even though I deep down wished it didn't have to be me. Does that make me a bad person? I guess it does. _

_Damon, I'm sorry. I wish you never would have to read this. I wish I never had to write it. _

_Do you remember when you promised you wouldn't remember me as the person I was during my illness?_

_I need you to hold that promise now. Just as I need you to promise me something else._

_Go out. Have fun. Find someone to share your days with. Find someone to love - just don't love anyone more than me - and someone who will love you back - just know that no one will love you as much as I love you. Find someone to create new memories with - just don't forget ours._

_I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to move on with your life. I want you carry on. I'll always be with you, protect you. I'm never far away._

_You know how short your life can be, how life can mess with you so carpe diem, Damon. _

_Cherish every sunrise just as much as every sundown. _

_Promise me this. _

_Love,_

_Elena_

_PS. Stop frowning beautiful, it's not attractive. I knew you would agree to my request before I had asked it. _

_I love you. _

* * *

**Thoughts?** _Be kind & review :)_

Song: My Chemical Romance - Cancer


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